Finding the Perfect Presents

As I gear up for Fall, I go into my “buy-wrap-package-mail” mode. On my digital calendar, the lavender, color-coded blocks between October 16 and December 2, are filled with important birthdays. My Mom, three of my precious grandchildren, my awesome husband, one super daughter-in-love, and my two beloved sons, all have birthdays in that same window of time. (And that doesn't take into account the aunts, cousins, nieces and friends scattered into that part of the calendar). All in a little over six, count them, six weeks!

Now, if you also consider the fact that three, of the eight immediate family gifts, must be mailed out of the country at least three weeks ahead of time… and let's not forget that Thanksgiving falls during that time frame… and Christmas follows only three weeks later. Perhaps by now, you are feeling my panic.

I go into a frenzy of shopping, wrapping, packaging into appropriately-sized shipping boxes, and standing in line at the post office to spend practically a day’s wages on postage.

While other people are buying cinnamon scented candles, placing corn husk wreaths on their doors, and anticipating the cooler days of Autumn… I am running around like a crazy person. Why, you may ask, do I do this year after year? Because I love my family. I want them to know they are on my heart and mind, and that I value them.

As I flipped the page on the calendar in my kitchen, the dreaded seasonal panic set in… FALL! As I began to search the internet for the perfect gifts for my family, a thought crossed my mind. What if the gift I actually wanted most to find, and what most of them might appreciate as well, was a time and place for me to just be “present” with them?

Honestly, I'm not sure all my grandkids would settle for just having Grandma’s feet in their living room, or sharing an activity together - but they might. (If only that didn't mean flying 12 hours for two of those visits). Although it may not always be practical, being “present” with people may often be the best present we could ever give to them.

What do I mean by being “present”? I mean showing up… and being all there… being all in. Slowing down enough to really give others the gift of your time; time that has been earmarked solely for them. Time when you are not thinking about where you need to be next, or what phone calls you have to make, or what food (or gifts) you have to shop for.

It seems as though granting people our “presence” is a rare thing in this day and age. I see countless examples of this - people looking at their phones at the dinner table… playing with electronic devices while sitting together in the same room… people wearing headsets and Bluetooth devices while they walk, run, and drive… and children playing video games online, rather than enjoying a board game face to face.

It is no wonder that we may feel somewhat unskilled to actually talk to neighbors or engage in a deeper level of conversation with someone than, “What about those Nittany Lions?” The advent of television and electronic games and devices, brought with it a way of life that has taught us how to shut out the world around us. Many of us have never been trained in being present with people.

Sometimes, being present may not even require us to have conversational skills; it may require no words at all, just being there. It involves time and attention that is totally devoted to the person you are with. If that sounds strange to you, I guarantee you - you are not alone.

Let's suppose for a minute that you find yourself with a neurological problem, you cannot stand light or sound stimulation of any kind, and your doctor doesn't want you to stay alone. How many people do you know who would volunteer to sit by your side, in total silence, until you whispered a request? Quietly at your service, just waiting to see what you might need. That is where I found myself for a few months, several years ago… I was on the receiving end of that rare gift.

My sweet friend came nearly every day to sit with me. She was not telling me how to get better, or trying to fix me… she was just there with me… present. That is a gift of unselfish love. What a blessing!

This may have been an extreme example; God may not ever call you to be present in that way, but I can tell you that just the presence of that friend, during such a devastating time, brought me tremendous hope each day. The Love and Peace of Jesus flowed right through her to my soul.

Several weeks ago, I stood by the hospital bed of my uncle, and I was reminded once again of the gift of our presence. He could not speak, and barely opened his eyes while I held his hand, sang softly, read scripture to him, or just sat in silence. He wasn't going to get better, I could not fix his condition… he would likely soon be with Jesus. Yet, just being there with him seemed to bring Hope and Peace to him and my aunt. At one point, despite the dementia, and the bleeding in his brain, he responded to me. Although he didn't open his eyes, he smiled when I said, "You'll have to wake up, open your eyes, or raise your hand, if you want me to stop singing". 😊 Even though we saw little outward evidence of it - he knew we were there, and we had definitely connected.

I share this with you to help you think about who might benefit from the gift of your presence. Maybe it is the neighbor who rarely comes out of his house, or the guy who packs your groceries. Maybe it is the wearied mom with four kids you see at the park every week, or the person who works beside you, who you don't know a thing about. Or maybe it will be the couple who sits on the end of your pew this Sunday; or the waitress who drops your pancakes because she has had such a rough week.

In order to really be present with people, we first have to slow down enough to recognize and see people as Jesus sees them. To see their value and worth… and intentionally decide that they are worth our time.

When might God give you an opportunity to “be present” with someone this week? Will you recognize it as from Him? May our ears be open to the Holy Spirit, waiting for His nudge to step in whenever, and wherever He opens a door for us to be “present” with someone.

#Slow Down #Be Present #Gift Your Presence

Next: Are You Listening?

#presents #presence #time #slowdown